I was asked If I could put out my queer blog posts in English as well, since some friends (mostly E.s but some of mine) are not able to read (good) in German. So here it goes. This is a (rough) translation of the post i published on May 8th 2018
Since I saw on twitter that there is apparently a need for (german) family blogs with queer content, I am considering if I want to do this or not.
I have never seen my blog as a “family blog”. It is mine, more like a diary and yes my family has a part in it. My family is part of my life, but I am not the one to give advice like others do, or write about how to do parenting or how or what diet is now right for kids. Also I tend not to be too political, because I have the feeling I am not deeply informed enough to give more than a half baked opinion.
Also I always think that other people can do that way better than I.
If you go back far enough you can recognize what queerness is here already, and since I write mostly for friends and family, they know that as well. It was also never the goal to have a wide reach or a lot of readers. Also does our family life look very conservative, since we have a “one person goes of to work and the other is a stay at home mom” situation. What gender E. identifies with, is not important for the wider spread blog activities like 12von12 (12 pictures on the 12th of each month) or wmdedgt (what do you do all day on the 5th). On weekdays ist mostly just me and the kids. And because of that I am also the first person to be contacted by kindergarten, daycare etc. and the family situation is not really obvious for everyone.
Also I had very often the feeling, that it is not my story to tell and E. does not want to tell (or have told) about is as much. But my life would be quite boring, if there was not another aspect that does bring me write about this some more. Now the amount of queer people in my household has doubled and maybe it is useful to write about it.
Up until now I did not (really) write about the gender (or sex) of my children. Yes of course you could get an impression through the choice of fabrics and patterns of the clothes I have sewn for them. Also do the usual readers (so friends and family) know about the assigned gender (sex) of my kids.
Last year (as of now Feb. 2019 1,5 years ago) following dialogue ensued:
Spring Kid: “the others say, I am a girl!”
I think by myself: ‘that is an interesting way of saying that!’ so I
say: “Oh, and what do you say to that yourself?”
Spring Kid: “I am a boy!”
OK. Good to know. At that moment I left it at that. After that we had talked about E. going to do surgery. Penises and vulvas where suddenly a thing. Spring Kid said things like: “when we die, we become dinosaurs and dragons and I will be reborn with a penis” and “when I am as tall as Anita, I’ll get a baby in my tummy” and “when I am as tall as E. I will get a penis”.
Some weeks ago (April 2018)
there was the “the others say I’m a girl” with again the confirmation: “I am a boy”
E. asked if they wanted to have another name. Yes they wanted. The book of names came on the table. E. told about the name we initially had chosen for a boy, that we had not fully discussed. The Child has apparently (I was not there) pointed on a name in the open book, asked what that name was, did not consider any other options and learned on that very day how to write that name. Since it was close to their birthday all the invitations where singed with the new name. This lead to confusion in kindergarten, so I will have to talk to the teacher how to handle this situation.
And maybe other people do want to know how we handle this situation and because of that I maybe will blog about it. And when you read this I apparently have decided to click “publish”
Yes, my life is queer. I am Anita. I am married to a trans woman an apparently I have gotten in addition a trans kid as well.
if you want posts (other than the queer topics) published in english as well just contact me.