CN (internalised) Transmisia
This is a translation. The original post is from Aug. 22nd 2018
One of the most heard reactions when I tell, that Spring Kid has another name and different pronouns is: “Don’t you think it is just a phase?” or “It’s possibly just a phase!” mostly accompanied by a story like “At school one of my daughter’s class mates was also a girl that wanted to be a boy. That is over now.” or “XY’s son also had a phase when he wanted to polish his nails, said he is a girl, wanted to wear dresses. Now he plays football (soccer) and is just a normal boy”
OK. Sure. It is possible to be just a phase. Sure. It is possible that our kid due to our family situation wants to test themselves. Maybe they just want to know how it feels to be called by a name that is connected to the gender opposite to the one they got assigned at birth. Of course it is possible, that next week, next year, in ten years our kid realizes that the originally assigned gender is maybe more right, or maybe even no gender is applicable.
But what if it is not a phase?
What if my kid next week, in three months, in 5 years, in 10 years still says that the originally assigned gender is wrong?
How do I make more damage as a parent/social environment?
If I give my kid the chance to act out the “phase”. The people around also use the new name. They get recognized as that wat they are (think to be). And if they realize it is a phase they can go back?
If I give the chance to get them more time when it comes to puberty to talk about it and give them acces to puberty blockers, so there is not a change they maybe do not want?
What if every statement like:
“My new name is a boy’s name, because I’m a boy”,
“I want to have my hair cut short, because I’m a boy”
“I am a boy, a wild boy”
gets ignored or “corrected”. I still call him by his old (girls) name. Just smile gently and show him, that I really do not take him serious?
What if it is not a phase. What if my kid due to my ignorance and statements (whatever parents say is true to the kids – however stupid and wrong it may be) thinks that it must be wrong, just to find out, that it was not wrong and has to tell the parents that?
To who will they go and open up later? To the parents. that gave them the chance to act out the “phase” or to those, that ignored them and did not take them seriously?